EPISODE 124: “A Dazzling Array of Denzel Washingtons Displayed in Intricate yet Symmetrical Patterns”

November 7, 2016

THIS EPISODE’S CHARACTERS:

A Denzeleidoscope. The line from Tetris. A bag of nuclear submarines. All 10 seasons of The Big Bang Theory on VHS. Mario Farty. Whoopsy Jay Z’s. The Thunderbirds. Pope Jope Pope the Opal. Tony the hot dog guy. The cast of Duck Tails. Blaine Christie. A guy dressed up as Bambi. Cake-a-doodle-doo. Dorothy in a tank. Scooby Don’t. Rubber Baby Bungee Jumper.

THIS EPISODE’S BATTLE SCENARIOS:

  1. Who would win the following rhyming scenario?
  2. Who would you rather be scared by every night, à la Monsters Inc.?
  3. Whose Pandora’s Box would you rather unleash on the world?
  4. Who would win in a fight in a chest-deep pool of water?


Episode 120: “Cheese Wizard”

October 3, 2016

THIS WEEK’S CHARACTERS:

M. Night Shamonalan. John Handcock. A Pod of Serial Killer Whales. Dr. Phantasmo. Hickory Dickory Cock. All the Gold Medalists. Crazy Horse. Diarrea Dog from Spooky Buddies. Cheese Wizard. Hulk Hogan Sculpted from Play Dough. Aunty Beans. Your Boss. Haz Matt. Nash glued into a gorilla suit. A cool little snowy owl. Tony Almeida.

THIS WEEK’S BATTLE SCENARIOS:

  1. Crazy Cosmo Sex Tips Part II.
  2. Who would you rather have as your imaginary friend?
  3. Who would win in a thumb war?
  4. Whose hat would you rather be?


Episode 117: “Truckasaurus Rex”

September 19, 2016

THIS EPISODE’S CHARACTERS:

Truckasaurus Rex. The Pied Piper. No Neck Nash. Professor Pockets. Haley Atwell with a Shotgun. That Dumb Moriarty. Zombie Shamwow Guy. The Emotionator. Abe Froman. Blapso the Clown Gone Corporate. Darth Brooks. Bambie As Is. The Tedmonator. Horny Von Cornington. Baby Putin. Nickle with a Talking Beaver.

THIS EPISODE’S BATTLE SCENARIOS:

  1. Who would you rather have as your implement of survival?
  2. Who would you rather have as the back half of your horse costume?
  3. Who would you rather have as your realtor?
  4. Who would you rather dive in a bathysphere with?


Episode 115: “Same Old Crap But Huge”

September 6, 2016

THIS EPISODE’S CHARACTERS:

KaFooLoo. Taffy Smothered Taylor Swift. The Lechador. Hansel and Klarp Klarp. Pennywise. You with a crows and Bose hose. The Lunchador. Boo Rad Bee. Yacko, Wacko, and Dot. John Wilkes Actual Booth. Lukador. Spl**ge McF*ck. Karen who is DTF. Straight Chimpin’. Jane Lynchador. Eight hammerhead sharks taped together.

THIS EPISODE’S BATTLE SCENARIOS:

  1. Eight questions based on internet personality quizzes.
  2. Who would you rather sail around the world on?
  3. Which of these would be the worst companion at the movies?
  4. Which character would you rather have emotionally berate you for the rest of your life?


Episode 114: “Science vs. Jesus Pieces”

August 29, 2016

THIS EPISODE’S CHARACTERS:
Jesus Pieces. Punches Malone. Orchids on a poor kid. Fitness Frida. Jay under mouse arrest. Everybody hates Jay. Canine Cam. A military-sized drum of dental tape. Simon Says. Catty caddy cat Kat. The Great Calamari. The Masked Magician. Pin Cushion Perry. Horse in a tube. Chicken Niblets.

THIS EPISODE’S BATTLE SCENARIOS:

  1. Who would win at the following lyric from “Lose Yourself” by Eminem?
  2. Who would win as a science fair project?
  3. Who would win in a fight on a tightrope?
  4. Whose garage sale would you rather spend $50 at?


Episode 112: “Toast Spikes”

August 15, 2016

THIS EPISODE’S CHARACTERS:

Nostrahamus. Joust Mouse. A Baby Made of Shoes. Furry Kate and Rashly Olson. Scores of Spores of Thors. A garbage bag full of burritos. Nash with Tails’ Tails. A Driverless Tesla Car on a Rampage. Pope Offishall. Attila the Fun. A Sentient Slip and Slide. Benjamin Buttocks. Roger Moore Masseur. Toast Spikes. Kimpossumable. The Bad Justice League.

THIS EPISODE’S BATTLE SCENARIOS:

  1. Who would do better at the following World War II scenario?
  2. Whose blog would you rather write?
  3. Who would you rather Freaky Friday with?
  4. Who would win in a fight in a barrel going over a waterfall?


Episode 111: “Olympic Episode – Slalomin’ Solomon Sucks”

August 8, 2016

THIS EPISODE’S CHARACTERS:

Cam, Jay, and Nash Post Brazilian Wax. Equestrian Thespian. Sonic the Hedgehog. Starsky and Hutch as Brazilian Mega Police. Triathlon Trina. Slalomin’ Solomon.Insane Bolt. Baby Bang Bang. Fatso the Fat Arsed Wombat. N’SyncronizedSwimmers. Steven Buchsbaum. Nascar Ned. Kelsey Grammar in a Speedo. Russian Gymnasts with Cat Heads. The Original Six. Hoplite.

THIS EPISODE’S BATTLE SCENARIOS:

  1. Who would perform better at the following Olympic event?
  2. Who would you rather have design and feature in the opening ceremonies?
  3. Who would do better in an old-timey gun fight with Oscar Pistorius and CaitlynJenner?
  4. Whose skateboarding skills are supreme?


Episode 108: “Off-Duty Judy and the Pancake Party”

July 10, 2016

THIS EPISODE’S CHARACTERS:
Herpules. Keith Urban or Whatever. Eva Green Lantern. Candy Bar Hulk Hogan. Jay with His Worst Haircut. TV Spokesman from a 1990’s Furniture Ad. A Celiac Bear. Off-Season Santa. An Ornate Plate. A Saucy Budoir Photo of Steve Buscemi. Colin Firth Sipping a Scotch. Chopper the Dragon-Dog. A Baby Taxi Driver. Daniel Radcliffe with Eight Cats Taped to His Torso. Joel, the Guy Who Always Beats You at Ping Pong. Off-Duty Judy.

THIS EPISODE’S BATTLE SCENARIOS:

  1. Who would you rather have as your coworker in the following job?
  2. Who would you rather have at your Pancake Party?
  3. Who could fit more billiard balls in his/her mouth?
  4. Who would you rather have as the main character of your dreams?


Episode 107: “Getting Sex Advice from a Drunk Bird and Lincoln’s Top Hat”

July 4, 2016

THIS EPISODE’S CHARACTERS:
Samuel L. Slaps-Sons. Tequila Mockingbird. Homer Pimps-Sons. Jimmy Talon. Dale Q. Squarnkles. Uncle Izzy. Sunny Bono. The Nash Village People. The horny goat weed horn-kneed goat tweed man. 500 million fire ants combined to form a young Helen Mirren. Cam – a lot. Jay as a Corgi. Penguin-backed 100-foot Shakira. Reverse Lincoln. Gus Van Sant-a Clause. A Treatza Pizza.

THIS EPISODE’S BATTLE SCENARIOS:

  1. Who would you rather have replace the following item in your day-to-day life?
  2. Who seems better?
  3. Who should give your significant other sex/relationship advice?
  4. Who would you rather share the same pair of clothes with for the rest of your life?